1 Girl 5 Gays: What Makes A Guy A Slut?

In the latest episode of 1 Girl 5 Gays (Ep. 23, Se. 3), Aliya-Jasmine raised an interesting question that will never cease to grasp my attention: What makes a guy a slut? Why this question will never die is because each person has his or her own interpretation of the word “slut” and as societal norms and definitions change, so, too, will opinions.

The responses were all interpretations of the word “slut”, and, for the most part, all were in understanding of the negative connotations attached to “slut”. It’s always interesting when people interpret the word “slut” and whether they deem such a characteristic as positive or negative.

David Robert, rock star extraordinaire, responded right away with his interpretation of the differentiation between the words “slut” and “sex”. I thought this was pretty interesting considering from what I’ve heard of David Robert – he isn’t one to have insightful responses (and I’ve been watching 1 Girl 5 Gays since season one). David responded by saying that he thinks sex and “sluttiness” are so different: sluts are dirty about it; having sex and then telling a sexual partner to leave. He basically says that sex is primal, animalistic. Jake then chimes in and says that a “slut” is someone who doesn’t have any feeling for their actions: “It’s like a revolving door of interactions and no emotion.”

There is nothing wrong with having as much sex or as little sex as you want. The difference between having a lot of sex and being a “slut”, as I interpret it, is that sex (or the action of having sex) is natural and innate and being a “slut” is a label with negative societal connotations attached to it with the purpose of deterring the young and innocent of engaging in such activities. JP mentions that “slut” isn’t a bad word. However, he is then asked by Aliya-Jasmine: “Do you consider yourself a slut?” JP responds by saying: “No, because I don’t have a lot of sex.” He is basically saying that there is nothing wrong with people who have a lot of sex, but, in turn, he is labeling those people “sluts”.

In my fourth year of university I took a course called Psychology of Sexuality and, at one point, this “slut” debate was a heated topic of lecture. The professor stated that, in terms of the difference between being a “slut” and having a lot of sex, people who have a lot of sex have a high sex drive. It doesn’t matter whether or not you are having extreme amounts of sex with one person or extreme amounts of sex with multiple people – it all boils down to your sexual drive, you want and need for sex.

You can have as much sex as you want, but, in my opinion, you become a “slut” when you lose control of your own actions – when you begin to abuse your body. It’s OK if you want to have sex, but be respectful of yourself in terms of taking necessary precautions:

  • Use condoms
  • Know the sexual history of your prospective trick
  • Be vocal about what sexual activities you are comfortable with performing – be confident that you will feel fine with whatever activity it is you engaged in
  • Know potential risks ahead of time – don’t rush into any activity, do it, and then regret it moments later

I have to disagree with JP’s correlation and say that the moment you begin to lose self-respect for your body (as a direct result of your sexual actions) is the moment you become a “slut”. The amount of sex one has has no relation to this person being a “slut”.

Do you think JP is right in relating “a lot of sex” to being a slut? One is an (innate) action and the other is a societal construct. Do you agree David in that a “slut” is someone who has no respect for the person they are having sex with? Do you agree with Jake’s opinion that a “slut” is emotionless in his actions? Have your say below!

… AND! Speaking of sluts! Are you one? Take the test created by Mother Jones.

  • Perry

    Its all socially constructed and someday someone kissing another individual could be labelled a slut. It changes in space and time and therefore society could just expunge the word and your own sexual activity is your own. Maybe, maybe we could call it abuse and in that term it will be seen in a different light.

  • Silly, guys can’t be sluts. They’re guys 🙂

  • Darren Stehle

    I wrote a longer response to your article on my blog:

    http://queerthoughts.com/2012/03/27/on-being-a-slut-a-response-to-queerbeat/

  • ChicagoGuy

    One of my definitions is: A gay slut is a guy who will sleep with almost anybody who asks regardless if they find them attractive. At that point they have lost self respect and can be labeled a slut.

    In Chicago I find most of these guys average 50+ different partners a year and are known as loose bottoms.