“OMG Jason, you can’t just ask Matt why he doesn’t think you’re the most driven.”

In the 22nd episode of season 3, Aliya-Jasmine asked the panel (who consists of three new members, Jason, who, side note, is one of the producers of 1 Girl 5 Gays, Ibrahim and Jeffrey): Who on the panel would you say is the most driven?

I’m not going to give my opinion on who I think is the most driven on the panel. Rather, I would like to focus on is an issue I discussed in a previous post of mine: how we, as gay men, always feel the need to be ready to attack each other, or always feeling the need to be on the defensive.

To jump right into it, Philip answers the question by stating Jason is the most driven and ambitious individual on the panel (of this particular episode). However, Philip is clearly biased because earlier he mentioned Jason was his best friend, and, let’s face it, you would never disrespect your best friend (especially on a major Canadian network), you will always play to you best friend’s ego, and you would want that same respect in return when it’s time.

Here comes the interesting part: Aliya-Jasmine then asks Matt Barker if he agrees with what Philip said, and, of course, he replies “Nooooo”, in a “Psssh, no way, are you kidding me?” tone. It might appear as though Matt is being disrespectful, but, in his honest opinion, he believes he is the most ambitious and driven person on the panel. Who wouldn’t want to self-promote themselves?

Thus, the problem: Jason’s response: “Why?!” – Why aren’t you agreeing with Philip? How could you not think I’m the most driven? Why doesn’t Matt agree with Philip that Jason is the most ambitious person on the panel? He doesn’t have to. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion and sometimes the panel (along with the audience) forgets that. The response doesn’t have to be one that follows everyone else’s, or, in this case, an answer that will suit Jason’s liking. The answer should be a personal opinion of the person being asked the question, not a “followed along” answer. Make sense? Just because someone’s answer doesn’t cater to your liking, doesn’t mean you have to go on the defensive. Which leads me to my point: Jason automatically goes on the defensive and is ready to attack, and, as a result, has to put down Matt Barker because his (Jason’s) ego was hurt.

Now it’s Jason’s turn: Aliya-Jasmine asks Jason who he thinks is the most driven. What do you know? He responds by saying, “I guess I’m going to have to say Philip.” Obviously, they’re besties. There-in lies another problem: when you have to guess at a person, there is a clear indication of that one is unsure in his answer. Jason was clearly catering to Philip (and his ego) because Philip mentioned Jason was his best friend. If Jason hadn’t responded with Philip, Philip would have cried (as he eventually shed tears of happiness). Jason deliberately set out to piss Matt Barker off with his response because Matt didn’t choose Jason, but himself as the most driven person on the panel. This shows that gay men are always on the defensive and constantly feel the need to attack one another, especially when their ego is bruised. Jason took the response too personally and lashed out on Matt.

This is where I get lost: Jason then goes on to say, “I don’t mean to demean your business and, like, what you’ve created for yourself”, but then continues with, “By saying Philip is more ambitious doesn’t mean I’m demeaning your ambituosness”, (which isn’t a word by the way). This is a contradiction of the same term! You can’t demean someone, but not mean to demean someone. Either you are or you aren’t. Jason clearly meant to demean Matt Barker’s drive and ambition only to give rise to his bruised ego.

So what does this all mean? WE NEED TO STOP BEING SO CATTY (Not all gay men are, but cattiness certainly lies within us). This is a huge issue of ego and self-respect, the latter of which is lacking in the gay community. I guess it makes good TV, right?

I really like to provide more insight and meaning into my articles, and I’ve tried in this one, but, as you may have noticed, my tone in expressing my opinion in this specific article in response this specific question is negative and condescending. It was just something that really “erked” me the wrong way and took do this outlet to share my opinion. Today I wanted to pick a fight.

Now I want to turn the spotlight on you, the loyal fans of Homorazzi.com. Who, of the entire cast over the last three seasons, do you think is the most ambitious and driven? Why do you think this person is so ambitious and driven?